If I weren’t so
irritated by At Middleton, I may have
no choice but to be impressed. If only accidentally, there are usually at least
a few things that even the worst films manage to get right. At Middleton is the most impressively
atrocious attempt at filmmaking that I have seen in a long while, made even
more nauseating by the fact that it is headed up with two actors who should
know better. The film by relies almost
entirely upon dialogue, though there is hardly a believable word spoken between
two characters forced into a meet cute while on a college campus tour with
their children. No amount of talent from the leading actors comes close to
saving At Middleton from the
atrociously cliché dialogue. Though the film is rated-R, the screenplay has the
intelligence and maturity of a Disney Channel movie.
In an obvious
attempt at imitating Richard Linklater’s Before
Sunrise franchise, At Middleton
takes place during a single day at the title college campus. Characters are
replaced by caricatures and conversations are made up of badly written dialogue
made even more vomit-inducing by the confidence the filmmaker seems to have in
its quality. Each horribly written line from Glenn German & Adam Rodgers is
made more devastating by the arrogant confidence in the filmmaking, as if
daring us not to consider the over-written and under-thought quips to be less
clever than they are.
I’m actually
embarrassed for Academy-Award nominated stars Andy Garcia and Vera Farmiga for
their involvement in this film. Garcia does his best with the material, but was
apparently swayed by the producer credits and an opportunity to write the music
for the film’s theme song. This is not nearly as repugnant as Farmiga’s obvious
attempt at helping her talent-less sister into the world of film. Taissa
Farmiga co-stars as the daughter of her real-life sister, so why is it that
neither of them seem believable as human beings, much less a mother and
daughter. Nepotism has never been so repulsively unbelievable on film.
Other than
allowing a few stars to stroke their own egos and force melodrama into an
unrealistic situation, the only real point to this film seems to be irreverent
attempts at comedy. The problem is that the filmmaker apparently forgot to tell
the cast what was meant to be humorous and what is intended to inspire emotions,
so that the entire things feels ineffectively forced. The best example I can
think to give is the response a tour guide gives when he is suddenly asked
about the number of rapes on campus. He replies solemnly that there are a large
number of rapes, but that it is college, “and that’s what you sign up for.” His
delivery gives no indication of this being a joke, though it is a response no
less humorous than any of the other jokes in this romantic comedy.
The Blu-ray has
an audio commentary with co-writer and director Adam Rodgers, along with
co-writer/producer Glenn German and producer/star Garcia. Also included is
Garcia’s “There Was a Day” song and an outtake reel from the nepotistic set of
actors enjoying the production far more than any audience member ever could. I
enjoy most every film to some degree, but I hated, loathed, and despised At Middleton with ever fiber of my
being. I would never recommend this film to my worst enemy.
How Hated List
Acting: 6/10
Direction: 9/10
Story: 3/10
Dialogue: 10/10
Characters: 9/10
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